Monthly Archives: June 2014

How to raise your vibration

How to raise your vibration

Raising Vibration

Talks about why we should raise our vibration and why we should do it.

25 Signs You’re Succeeding At Life (Even If It Doesn’t Feel Like It)

By: Shannon Kaiser

 

We’ve all had days, weeks, months and — for some — even years of dark days and depression. Whether we fall into ruts of self-sabotage, loneliness or insecurity, leading a happy, joyful life can sometimes feel like a chore.

I often tell my students and coaching clients they’re doing so much better than they give themselves credit for.

Most of us are so busy trying to dodge life bullets, we forget to stop and appreciate the little victories.

Consider for a moment that you’re doing a tremendous job at life. Living isn’t an easy thing to do, but it can be enjoyable when we start to see the good instead of focusing on the bad.

 

You are actually living a good life by recognizing these 25 signs:

 

1. Your relationships are less dramatic than they use to be.

2. You may not have as much money as you want but you live a rich life.

3. You’re not afraid to ask for help and support.

4. Where you live feels like home.

5. You’ve raised your standards.

6. You let go of things that don’t make you feel good.

7. You have moments where you appreciate who you see in the mirror.

8. You’re working on limiting your inner critic and consciously choosing more positive thoughts.

9. You’ve learned that setbacks and failure are part of self-growth.

10. You have a support system that includes people who would do anything for you.

11. You hear “I love you” often, from friends, family or a partner.

12. You’ve accepted what you can’t change, but change what you can’t accept.

13. You don’t complain much, but instead focus on solutions.

14. You don’t blame your parents, and accept them for who they are.

15. You stopped caring about what others think of you.

16. You’re happy for your exes when they move on.

17. You can celebrate others’ successes.

18. You allow yourself to feel your feelings and are comfortable sharing them.

19. You have passions that you pursue.

20. You’re able to accept compliments without deflecting.

21. You have things to look forward to.

22. You have goals that have come true.

23. You have empathy for others.

24. You feel connected to your work.

25. You love deeply and open yourself up to be loved by others.

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Conscious Uncoupling

When I first heard this expression it was blown up all over the media and probably because of that sheer fact alone, I laughed it off as another Hollywood bullshit trends. But, because it was something new that I heard I naturally wanted to learn more.

As I started reading more about it and researching, I was pleasantly surprised of how much it all made sense! I am not going to rehash in my own words what has already been very well put, but rather will post the whole article. I really resonate with this idea as it is looking at this experience from a spiritual stand point.

When going through separation it is hard to see the reason or the light. Such intense and strong emotions have a tendency to overtake us, as a typhoon wave, unable to remain in control we do our best not to drawn. While I think it is healthy to allow yourself time to grieve, even in that state, we should start exploring any ways that could help us heal and return us to a peaceful place of balance and harmony within. 

I think understanding this and looking at it from a different perspective that you are used to, may not only offer some insights, but help us to move to that path sooner. Read the rest of this entry

Some words of wisdom

Trying to find my way again…feeling like I need all the help I can get. Sometimes listening to others give us strength to find desire again…desire to live, to grow, a desire for anything really that could be positive. It’s a scary feeling when you suddenly don’t want or care about anything…
Tony is brilliant, so much of what he says makes total sense. His drive and his passion are contagious!

10 Facts about me

I was watching a video by a Russian blogger on youtube, there are several girls that I really admire and I check out their newest videos once in a while. 

One of them was a video where a blogger tells 10 facts about herself. It was really hilarious, something that I would not at all expect to read, like one of the facts about her was the fact that she liked to air out cabinets and drawers. Ha ha, I am not kidding, she said she opens all the drawers all the time and leaves the apartment, to “air them out” even through she realizes it’s completely not necessary, she kind of laughs at herself for doing it, lol. Especially when she was living with her sister and mom, it was driving them crazy.

But it got me thinking, have you ever wrote 10 facts about yourself? I haven’t. Until today. It was kind of weird at first, but also fun! Sometimes it’s good to look at yourself as if you’re an observer, perhaps it can offer a different perspective. In either case, whether taken seriously or not, it’s kind of interesting to do just for fun.

Here goes mine:

10 Facts about me

1)      I am 1/3 Estonian and 2/3 Russian. Although, I’ve completely forgotten Estonian language and only speak Russian and English now.

2)      I’ve been stateless for 22 years.

3)      I have big dreams! I value the fact of how far I’ve come from where I started. I believe my dreams will be realized!

4)      I am an artist and a photographer. More than anything I want to be able to record my life experiences through my paintings, with hope and transformation being a huge focus point.

5)      I love water! I feel that I physically need to be around water, it helps to balance me and gives me joy. I also really enjoy swimming and just floating, I call them my water meditations.

6)      I love Spring and Summer. Because I feel so differently when I can be outdoors a lot, plus I love to be warm. I really gravitate towards nature, I could see myself living somewhere in a natural setting.

7)      I earn to travel! I really see myself traveling around the world, living in various places, photographing and recording my journey. I like discovering new places and have a lot of respect for and interest in different cultures.

8)      I love colors, many different colors. I really gravitate towards blues and purples, especially indigo. I feel like there may be some of that color in my aura. I’ve always been fascinated with that subject and would like to learn how to see auras one day.

9)       I believe in respecting all living things, I admire Native Americans and their philosophy of being in balance with nature, animals and the world around us.

10)   I enjoy creating things. For me, it’s such a gratifying feeling to make something with your hands, whether it’s cooking, painting, photographing, making jewelry or something else creative. I feel really satisfied and rewarded when I create something new.

Tiny changes mean huge results

I love listening to him! I think he could convince an Eskimo to buy ice, ha ha 🙂

Going to put his incantations to the test! So, yeah, I’ll be yelling in my car a lot from now on, hey, whatever it takes. Just listening to strong, successful people makes you feel the same, ever wondered how that works?

Take the 1st step

Practical steps to a positive change

Hypnotic Rhytm

Results are created by the momentum. Great video that really helps to put things into perspective.

Got to create a positive momentum!

Should you stay or should you go…

Should you leave him? 20 signs it’s time to walk away

 Sound familiar? Here are 20 signs it could be time to walk away…

1. He doesn’t care about you
Of course he cares about me, you cry, we’ve been living together/married for years! While a grand gesture (or even a bunch of flowers from the garage) on your birthday is welcome, a relationship means caring for one another day in, day out.

You have a migraine and he doesn’t offer you a pain killer. You tell him your sister might have breast cancer and he barely looks up from the TV – let alone drives you to the hospital. He knows you are upset, or in physical pain, and yet does nothing to help… that’s someone who doesn’t care.

2. His annoying habits drive you mad
He leaves his socks on the floor, turns the thermostat down when it’s already freezing and puts empty jars back in the fridge – but is that a good enough reason to leave him? Of course not!

We all have our annoying ways, but if his habits leave you seething with rage it’s time to look at what’s really going on. Are you simmering with resentment about some past hurt but too scared to bring it up?

When we squash our feelings, it can result in displacement – and the little things suddenly become HUGE. Another sign it could be time to walk away.

3. Your friends and family hate him
Your nearest and dearest were pleasant enough at the start, but now just being in the same room as him brings them out in a twitch. There will always be some people who don’t get on, but if the majority of your loved ones can’t stand your man, you have to ask why.

Perhaps they see him more objectively than you do – and in particular, how he treats you. While you may be able to overlook his ways, or have forgiven him for hurting you in the past, there’s a good chance they can’t.

Ask them – it might put things in perspective.

4. You no longer talk about the future
When you first got together you spent hours dreaming of the house you would buy, the holidays you would go on, perhaps even the children you would have together. Now it seems he won’t even commit to a dinner date next week.

If your man no longer makes plans for the future (or if his plans no longer include you), it’s a clear sign he’s distancing himself from the relationship.

Don’t organise another thing (especially not an expensive holiday or a mortgage), until you’ve had a heart-to-heart to find out what’s really going on.

5. You’re his life raft
Relationships are all about give and take and there will be times when you need his support, and times when he will need yours. A problem arises when one of you is acting as the other’s permanent life raft.

If you find yourself saying, “I couldn’t possibly leave… what would he do without me?”, you need to consider whether you’re really helping by staying.

Sometimes playing the saviour becomes part of our identity. We need it – as much as they do. Focus on getting him help (counselling, medication, a job, debt management), so that he can get back on his feet – otherwise you both risk going under.

6. He’s aggressive or abusive
No one should have to put up with physical or emotional abuse from their partner (whether a man or a woman). A boyfriend or husband should add to your feelings of safety and security, not detract from them.

Yet one in four women will suffer domestic violence at some point in their lives.

There are many organisations and support groups offering emotional and practical advice, no matter how complicated your situation is. Refuge or Women’s Aid is a good place to start. Do something before it’s too late.

7. You keep secrets from him
There was a time you told him everything – including things you’ve never told anyone else. If you got a promotion at work (or were told you were being made redundant), he was the first person you called. These days, you’re more likely to confide in the dog.

If you find yourself keeping secrets or no longer confiding in him, it’s time to ask yourself why. Do you no longer trust him enough? Do you feel he doesn’t really listen – or worse, doesn’t care?

If you find yourself confiding in another man it’s an ever bigger warning sign.

8. He keeps secrets from you
Of course, there are some things we keep to ourselves and others we prefer to share with a trusted friend outside of the relationship. If, however he’s only recently started to keep things from you it could signal a problem.

He’s looking for a new job/has been diagnosed with a medical condition/has won the lottery… and you’re suddenly the last to know. That’s a sign you need to sit down and talk. If he’s been keeping a bigger secret from you – like the fact he’s been sleeping with his PA – that’s a sign to let your feet do the talking.

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9. He’s a lazy sod

Laziness takes many forms. There’s the couch potato who expects you to cook and clean (after all, mummy did). Then there’s the backseat man.

How nice to have an easy going man who lets you choose where to go on holiday, what to have for dinner, where to live! But is he just easy going or lazy?

Having to make all the decisions (whether you’re a man or a woman), can become a burden – and it’s only reasonable to want some input from the significant other in your life. Ask him to do the shopping – without giving him a list – and make some of the decisions. If he can’t, it could be time to leave your backseat man by the curb.

10. He’s a jealous guy
Who hasn’t suffered from the green-eyed monster at one time or another? Some would even argue that jealousy is a good sign – after all, it shows that he still cares.

But if you find him going through your mobile phone, hacking into your emails or chaperoning you on a girls’ night out there is something seriously wrong.

You will have to make a judgment call. Either address why there is a lack of trust in the relationship – and acknowledge any part you played in that – or accept that he has a (potentially dangerous) problem and get out now.

11. He borrows money from you (and doesn’t pay it back)
Couples argue about money (followed by housework) more than any other issue, if relationship surveys are to be believed.

While it’s fine to borrow and lend money occasionally no one wants to feel like their partner’s personal ATM.

If he frequently borrows money but the re-payments aren’t so regular, it’s time to lay down the law. Have an honest chat about your finances and seek debt advice if necessary. If the problem doesn’t improve you may have to re-evaluate the relationship. Don’t be taken for a (free) ride.

12. He flirts with other women
We all want the man in our life to get on with our friends – but not THAT well. When his flirting makes you feel uncomfortable, it’s time to have a word. It’s possible that he hasn’t realised and just thinks that he’s being friendly. Of course, you also need to consider whether jealousy is clouding your judgment.

If he continues to flirt with your friends (or other women), you have to question why. Is he insecure, does he like playing mind games, or is he looking for a way out of the relationship? Whatever his reasons, you deserve his full attention. Don’t be second best.

13. You’re dating the Invisible Man
Feel like you’re in long distance relationship, yet he only lives across town? If you’ve been dating for a few months and his movements are still a mystery to you, something clearly isn’t right.

A change in communication is a typical early warning signal of something wrong. If he used to text you every day but now you’re lucky to get a reply, he’s obviously got a different priority right now.

If he explains, and you accept his reason, all good and well. If that different priority is a 25-year-old barmaid down the local, leave with your dignity intact.

14. He’s a love cheat
Yes, it is possible (with a lot of hard work and counselling) for a relationship to bounce back stronger than ever when one of you has had an affair. If you’ve caught him cheating and you’re able to forgive and forget, you’re a bigger woman than most.

If he does it again and you take him back you’re asking for trouble. He may swear it will never happen again, but you believed him the first time and look what happened. No trust = no relationship. If you can’t trust him, what’s the point?

If you’re the one who’s tempted to cheat, do the honest thing and leave before you cause more hurt than is necessary.

15. You’re deeply unhappy
You can’t expect your man to make everything right in your life. Nor can you expect every day of a relationship (no matter how strong) to be filled with flowers and rainbows. What you can expect is for there to be love on both sides and more good days than bad.

If you think you may be depressed, speak to your doctor, as that could be having an impact on an otherwise good relationship.

One quick test: imagine yourself single or with someone new. If the thought makes you feel happier than you have done in weeks, it’s time to go.

16. He has an addiction
It could be alcohol, drugs, gambling or pornography. If your man has an addiction it’s unlikely that staying with him is going to help.

By all means get him some professional support (if he’s willing to accept it), but don’t wait around in the vain hope that he will change.

Most addicts face a long hard road to recovery. If you love him, of course you’ll want to help – just accept that it might involve leaving him. Look for a support group for his addiction (there will be lots online). Speaking to others who have lived with an addict can help.

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17. You don’t have sex
Libidos change as we get older, but if you’ve become more like brother and sister, why not give each other the chance of meeting someone new? Even if you’re happy with no sex, is he? Unless you’ve talked openly and honestly about it, you won’t know.

Of course there’s more to a relationship than sex, but if one or both of you still have natural urges, isn’t it better for you to have a full-filing relationship with someone else?

If you really are as close as you think you are, your friendship will survive it.

18. He’s not on your side
You have to know that your partner is on your side – even when you’re wrong. Yes, we should all be big enough to give and take criticism, but being in a relationship means being part of the same team.

If he constantly puts you down or undermines you, sides with friends and family against you (or any random drunk down the pub), it’s time to take a closer look at what you’ve got – and whether it’s worth having.

19. He’s an energy vampire
It’s one thing to go through a bad patch and it’s another entirely to be negative about every aspect of life. Do you really want to be with someone so mean-spirited?

Unfortunately, it’s easy to make excuses for this kind of behaviour – he had a negative mother, he’s had a run of bad luck.

If he regularly shoots down your dreams, ambitions and achievements, let alone your plans for the weekend, you risk your self esteem hitting rock bottom. Make your escape plans now – while you still have the energy!

20. He’s selfish
He never puts your needs first – and that includes in the bedroom. If you both know his top priority is himself you have to ask why you are still in the relationship.

Selfishness is one of the hardest character traits to change or fix. First of all, he would have to want to change – and why would he, after all, you’ve stuck around this far!

Do yourself a favour and find someone who can give you the things you deserve. Relationships are about give and take – not you giving and him taking. Find someone who’s willing to put in their 50%. 

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